Entry #20, March 30
End of Semester
Saturday, Mar 30 (1:28 P.M.)
I’m on a bus, going somewhere, but I’m not sure where.
I haven’t decided my destination yet, but I’m not going to school. My parents think I still have classes today, but I’m just trying to escape church. I know I can’t. I know I’ll still be there later for practice.
The best thing I can do is be late, and maybe they’ll start without me and find a replacement, but they’ll most likely just wait for me or arrive late too.
I also don’t want to be around the house. I want to be alone. I want to be free.
Why do I have to be alone just to be free?
(1:42 P.M.)
After today, I have no more excuses left. I have no other place to go but to church. My father enrolled me in the church’s discipleship program, which starts next week and lasts two months (my entire break from school). Basically, no vacation for me.
You cannot think outside the box when you’re perpetually inside it. I guess that’s how it works. School, church, then work, and every time you are being graded, whether you pass or fail, go to heaven or not.
(2:00 P.M.)
I’m now walking to a friend’s house. I did the same thing on Monday. I had no classes and went there to pass the time. But maybe I won’t be as welcome as before, or maybe he’s not there today.
(2:09 P.M.)
I saw a motorcycle parked in the garage. That means his brother is there. They had a little argument last time, and I think it’s not a good idea if I unexpectedly appear there again.
So I’m off to someplace else. I have three hours left.
(2:51 P.M.)
I’m inside a movie theater. I arrived just before a pretty decent movie was about to start. I used to think I watched films because I wanted to learn. Now I’m no different from the people who go to the movies to escape their lives.
I don’t like doing this, going nowhere without a plan just to get away.
(4:55 P.M.)
Okay, the movie is over. It’s almost 5. I have to go to church.
